Routine

I've been self employed for almost 10 years now. Don't have to be in the office at 8 am or clock out at 5pm. Can work in my PJ's, don't even have to shower until I can't stand my own smell (even then hehe...). I still get work done well and on time, so, no problem, right?

Yes, problem. I lack routine, that frame for the day that most people have. The structure that guides them from one hour to the next. When the silent clock strikes 1 for example, they know it's lunchtime.

I see the benefits of having a routine. It helps with focus, discipline and gives you a sense of order. So I set a very loose daily routine that I intend to let guide me, as an experiment, in February. Writing things down, I already see the upside. All my daily goals have a place in this frame (my mental picture of this is a pigeonhole type of structure) and surprise, surprise, I discovered that I have so much free time, yay! By 2 pm, I've already done house chores, 5 hours worth of work, light exercise, had breakfast and lunch!

Maybe I will conquer the world, after all.
After the 2 pm siesta, that is!

The Revenant, an Exercise in Focus

I just finished watching The Revenant. 5 mins in and I thought to myself, what the hell am I doing here? It was hard for me to focus and follow the story along, let alone enjoy it.

I came with a friend so obviously can't just leave. And then I remember my training in "focusing", and decided to give it a go. I took deep breaths. I paid attention to details on the screen. I listened to the dialogues harder. I ignored my buzzing phone. It worked :-)

What was the problem with the movie? Nothing, really. It was beyond good, but it disturbed my brain's status quo. I've had a few off days and spent them watching Sex and the City and the likes, so having to digest a darker movie like The Revenant forced my brain to work harder. Man, it did not like the extra work. Sometimes when you think that something is not for you, take the time to sit with it for a while. Notice the discomfort, acknowledge it, accept it. You might change your mind.

I came out of the theater feeling heavier, like every pore in my body is filled with the essence of the film. I felt the pain of every wound on Dicaprio's body, his whole existence was pain manifest. I salute the commitment of everyone in this production.

I'm glad to have witnessed an incredible show of hard work, passion and determination personified in The Revenant.

January Goals Round Up

I had 7 goals set up for January. Tonight I opened my planner and felt a little defeated when I saw the goal list because I didn't feel like I can truly cross off any. But then I reframed my perspective and took it as a victory anyway. I aimed for the stars but landed on the moon, still higher than KLCC, no?

1. Shake 2 times a day
I wanted to form the habit of taking one shake for breakfast and one for 4 pm snack, and this has been happening more often than not. For February, I'm tightening up this habit.

2. Gym twice a week
Didn't happen at all. I had however, been fast walking around the neighbourhood once or twice a week, doing planks during work breaks, did yoga twice. For February, gym is happening. I'm actually feeling the need to be on the treadmill, shocking!

3. Solat 5 times a day
My problem is Subuh, I'm doing okay with the other 4 prayers. February, tightening up this habit by sleeping no later than midnight.

4. Set up ASB savings
I don't trust other people with my money hehe.. I guess that's why it was subconsciously pushed aside. Still not sure if I should.

5. Set up a team for work project
The project is going to really pick up in April, I'll wait until end of March. No point in making freelancers wait for work that is not here yet.

6. Meet up with expat friend for another project
Didn't happen, maybe Feb I'm not sure. This project is still at the researching stage. I'm doing this with my friend Emmy but she's got a new job and is super busy, we need to regroup.

7. Save RM 300
Finally, one goal 100% crossed off!

I'm glad I did this January round up. I read somewhere that when we promise ourselves something and didn't keep it, we lose trust in ourselves. I don't want to do that to myself, and this summary of my monthly goals proves that I am making progress to be better, I can trust that "myself" is working to get there.

Life is fluid. We can plan and set targets, but let's not forget to save some wiggle room. Now excuse me while I go tweak my February goals :-)

Happy clean living!