Grocery Love

I just came back from doing groceries. I have been doing this consistently every week for a month and I find that I like it.

It's probably a testament of my yearning for routine and order in my life. The grocery shopping ritual is tied to my meal planning for the week, thoughts of calorie intake, stock checking, avoiding waste, discipline in sticking to a budget; in summary, order in the midst of an otherwise haphazard living.

Every week I try to stick to a RM100 budget although these first few weeks I've overspent more often than not. At the end of every week though, I will have an access of produce and food stuff that I carry forward to the next. I expect to hit the RM100  budget consistently after a while as I learn to gauge my consumption better.

When I think back over the things I used to write compared to now, I'm struck by how different they are, in terms of style and substance. In closer examination, the writing also reflects who I am at certain periods of life, my priorities and values. Groceries though, 5 years back I never thought I'd be writing about it but here we are.

Same Same

I have a younger cousin who is about the same age as my brother. We used to call him itik when we were growing up, I have no idea where that name came from. He is a child of divorce parents and his grandparents took him and his brother in, raised them like their own children. I wasn't really close to him but my impression of him was of a weak and spoilt child.

He grew up and moved in with his mother for a while before moving to KL to live on his own. I had no idea what he was up to until we were reconnected via FB a couple of years ago. By the way, this is what I like about FB, how it can connect you with long lost cousins and in 5 minutes, you'll be up to speed on what they've been doing all these years you were apart.

He did a lot, man oh man I was impressed. He modeled, acted in a few local TV productions, opened a cool barber shop, flipped burgers at night with a few close relatives (they opened the joint together I think) and now he's in Australia picking fruits. And FB just updated me that he's going to the UK soon. He's so young yet so driven. Oh, what wouldn't the world offer a 22 year old kid? So much potential!

I'm ashamed for prejudging him all this time because I can see that we have so much in common. I identify with his drive, opportunistic mind and open mindedness. He's doing things I wished I had done when I was younger. In a way, I'm living precariously through him and I wish him all the best! I don't know if he's doing all this for money or something else, but one thing he definitely will have in abundance is valuable life experience. Life is, in any case, the best teacher you can get.

Morning Awesomeness

Today is rest day (no gym) but I have a short yoga session planned for later in the evening. Funny thing about yoga, I never took any class or had proper training, but when Alison and I were in Bali and we did this life mapping exercise, yoga came up strong at every stage of my future life. Like, I'd be 90 and still do hardcore yoga everyday kind of projection. I expect I'll seek a proper teacher when the time comes but for now, YouTube yoga it is.

Woke up at 5.50 am for Subuh today. I puttered around the kitchen for a bit, had breakfast and now I'm at my desk clearing up some work. I only have 4 things on my agenda today (phew, no pressure). I'd like to keep this morning productive routine going especially now that Ramadhan is near. In shaa Allah, its going to be  awesome one.

All change take time and you need to be patient with yourself. To fail is expected, to stand up and get back to it is a trick I'm learning to master.

Motion to Emotion

The last few weeks I was feeling pretty lethargic and blergh. I had no mood nor motivation to do anything much, work also suffered as I only did the bare minimum.

At the same time, I've been reading The Magic of Thinking Big by an author whose name escapes me right now, and in this book he talked about how you can change the way you feel by just moving. In his words, "Action creates emotion". So I thought, yeah, let's try that. I started with small things, like making the bed in the morning, washing the dishes after I'm done eating, tackling small work tasks. Guess what? It works :-) I know this must be old news or no news for some people but to me, it's a huge relief to finally figure out a fool proof way to pick myself up and feel better.

This week I wanted to try something bigger. On Monday I went to the gym and worked out for an hour. By the time I got home, feeling psyched by the dopamine rush, I managed to finish some work that was way due. And then I did laundry. Then I showered, prayed Zohor, and drove to work. Phew, those few things don't usually get done in the SAME day, yet doing them that day seemed effortless.

Forward to today, I thought hmm, usually I feel good like this just for a day and the next day everything slows down and die down. I woke up at around 10 (later than yesterday, OMG this is not going to be a good day!). Decided why not go to the gym again today, after Zohor? So I did that, working out is harder today because of the achy muscles and the afternoon heat. After an hour, I went home and did laundry. Not having much work today, I find myself going through Iflix for new shows to watch. After 10 mins, I stopped watching and vacuumed the whole house instead. The cat hair situation has been bugging me for days so I decided to put a stop to the useless thinking-but-no-action. Man, it felt so good having a clean house.

After that I had an early dinner, showered, prayed Asar and drove to work. It is now 10.30 pm, I just reached home. Still feeling fantastic woohoo! What kind of magic is this?

Cleaning (Get out of my Brain)

I have a cleaner that comes once every week /other week to clean the house. I have used the same cleaning company for about 5 months now but I can't say that I'm satisfied every time. During these 5 months, I only feel satisfied with the work of 2 cleaners. Unfortunately, one has quit and the other is booked full most days.

When my house is dirty (read not spicky span clean all the time), I find it hard to focus on work because the mess nags at the back of my head, "Clean me, you slob!". It's becoming a problem because my work productivity actually dips as I spend too much time thinking about the mess, rather than spending it to actually clean.

So I have to find a solution here. First option, ignore it. Tried this, works for a little while but the nagging will come back for sure. Not a bad strategy but not a permanent solution either.

Second option, clean the house myself. I do think this is the best way to go since my standard is high for other people to achieve. Then I had a thought and figured that it's not really a high standard issue, I feel like the house is clean when I do it myself. So basically, its the satisfaction of doing it myself that makes me think that the house is clean. What a weirdo. I want to spend less time cleaning (and worrying about it) so I can do other more high reward tasks.

Third option, adjust my expectation. I have 3 cats, there are daily must dos that goes hand in hand with these furballs. First is of course, the fur. OMG they are everywhere. On my bed, my clothes, in my drinking water. Their poop box also needs cleaning twice a day. So I'm "expecting" these things to be there for me to clean everyday. Doesn't take that long actually once you put things in perspective.

Fourth option, book the one awesome cleaner for 2 times a month so she can handle more complicated things like bathroom, balcony, stairs and cupboards cleaning, while I do maintenance work by vacuuming and mopping once every week. Okay, I think this is the best option, plus managing the expectation bit. I also need to not be a lazy bum, house work counts as a workout too hehe..

I realize how trivial this is and I feel terrible for letting it consume my mind for so long, gah! There are so many rewarding things I could be doing than to worry about mess. Seriously this doesn't make sense, such a time suck, ergh.

Okay, in conclusion. I'm going to book that awesome cleaner for 2 times a week, while I do maintenance cleaning twice a month. Done! Pheww, what a relief.

Menu Planning 23rd to 29th May

This menu is for 2 people, one a hardcore carnivore and one a pescatarian wannabe.

Monday
Lunch: Baked chicken, baked sweet potatoes, raw tomatoes / Work
Dinner: Burger with sweet potato fries, raw zucchini / stir fry veggies with tofu, sweet potato fries

Tuesday
Lunch:  Lamb steak with sweet potatoes, zucchini / noodles with chicken soup and raw tomatoes
Dinner: Boiled chicken with potatoes, raw tomatoes/ Work

Wednesday:
Lunch: Hummus and pita bread, boiled chicken, raw tomatoes / hummus and pita bread, raw tomatoes
Dinner: Rice with turmeric chicken, zucchini / rice with fried eggs, zucchini

Thursday
Lunch: Lamb steak with sweet potatoes, zucchini / noodles with chicken soup, tomatoes
Dinner: Turmeric chicken wrap with veggies/ Stir fry veggies with shiitake mushroom with wrap

Friday
Lunch: Boiled chicken with potatoes, tomatoes / noodles with chicken soup, tomatoes
Dinner: Rice with fish head curry

Saturday and Sunday is a different beast, we might eat out. Gosh, meal planning is supposed to make things simpler right? Hmmm..